This topic is a hard one for a lot of people.
We never truly die; we simply leave this universe to go to the next. Our souls are eternal; it is our body that is not.
Grief hurts a lot. Having someone who was once there and then suddenly gone is difficult. We feel empty, hurt, lost, guilt and perhaps even regret.
We often feel guilt when a love one passes as if we are at fault in some way. We wish things were different. Some wish they had spent more quality time together, blame themselves for something that was unsettled, for loosing contact because life got busy, for not listening enough or understanding them enough. They are sad for what was and could have been. We distract ourselves with these beliefs and perceptions. We see death as a loss and anytime we perceive loss we suffer. It is difficult to accept. Grief after death is something we all feel, it is culturally what we feel. Some cultures by the way do not feel grief, they celebrate all passing’s tragic or not tragic, they trust life’s timing and see death as a blessing and a natural course of life. There is no tears or sadness only a ceremony of celebration for that soul’s journey.
Grief is a process in which we all deal with differently. Some of us shut down and avoid it all together because it is too painful. We can drown in our sadness and when we can’t take that anymore (because we link weakness to that emotion) we swing to anger. At least anger we feel we have more power and control. But these emotions can be destructive if we dwell there too long. We can choose to feel numb, ignore and not accept. We can choose to mask our feelings but that doesn’t serve us either. We have to allow ourselves to feel whatever we are feeling and not judge it. We have to move through it so we can get through it. Of course, we are going to have our moments but we have to be careful not to take a painful moment and make it a bad year or a bad life. Again, move through it so you can get through it. Our loved ones would not want us to live in that place. They are at peace and we should be too.
It may not feel like our loved ones are still with us but they are. They hear every word you say every thought you have. They see you in pain. They see you grieving.
When the soul leaves Earth they have no regrets, they do not blame anyone. They feel no pain. They take responsibility for what happened in their life. This is a time of reflection and enlightenment. They see the bigger picture without judgement and from a compassionate place. They appreciate all that life provided for them. It was all for their highest good, learning and soul advancement. Once the soul is on the other side they can be of service to those they love still here on this Earth.
The process of grief can be a hard one. Take it day by day and be kind to yourself. Your loved one is showing you signs every day that they are with you. Bring your awareness to it. The signs can be a song coming on the radio. Finding random coins on the ground. Finding something in a bedside table. Wearing something that belonged to your loved one or friend and feeling a sense of comfort. Looking at the clock the same time every day. Seeing a bird, butterfly or animal come to your window and then they come to your mind. It might be a familiar smell of cologne or cinnamon buns. They may visit in your dreams. These are just some examples.
Life is a full of light, mystery, wonder, and love. Be Kind to yourself and others. Love one another. Live everyday like it is your last. Have no regrets. Our loved ones that have passed are at peace and we should be too.